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No, not heroin or alcohol but things that to me are even worse.  Let me explain.

In no particular order I’m addicted to Farmville, nicotine, and caffeine.  These things provide different benefits but can be real problems also.  I have a rather complicated life.  Probably no more than anyone else’s but I handle it well.  Notice I didn’t use the word ‘manage’.  That’s because I can’t manage my life worth a shit.  I deal with it but I have no control.

Farmville I use as a distraction and an excuse.  What a failure this is because it keeps me from writing and doing other things. ‘Oh, I’m sorry honey.  I have to harvest my crops.’ or ‘I couldn’t write tonight’ have come out of my mouth before but these are bullshit excuses.  Farmville does nothing but suck the life out of me and occupy my time with something that truly is killing brain cells I need for other things.

Ah, nicotine.  Cigarettes.  Squares.  Terrible for me.  I just lost my father to cancer (not lung cancer.  I don’t think he ever smoked.) and have I quit?  Nope.  Nine month old daughter.  Still didn’t quit.  Loving wife who would love it if I would.  Negative.  My excuse?  It relaxes me.  Stress reliever.  Gives me time to think.  All of which is bullshit.  I need to quit.  I have to go see the Doctor on Friday about my blood sugar and cholesterol.  I know he’s going to ask.  I know my answer.  I know the question I’ll ask myself, ‘Why the fuck haven’t you quit?’  Good question, huh?

Caffeine.  Duh.  I’m a software developer/designer/programmer.  Yeah I probably drink too much of it in a day.  No denying that.  But dammit I’m not giving up my coffee or switching to decaf.  Not going to happen but I should cut back.  Honestly I should.

So how do I resolve these issues?  Easily.  Toodles Farmville.  Block that application.  Nicotine.  I need to convince myself that I’m the same with and without.  I need to friggin stop that crap.  Coffee.  I’ll try to cut down to one cup in the AM and one after lunch.

Fine.  Enough.  I have to stop!

Oh and by the way watch out for that 10000 hit!  The first person to get me a screenshot wins a spot as a character in my novel ‘Faith & The Undead’!

Later kids,

Ben

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