Frustration – the feeling that accompanies an experience of being thwarted in attaining your goals

I have tried many different things to increase my reader base.  Sites like alphainventions.com and condron.us to get my name out there.  Different styles of writing.  Commenting on other blogs.  DeviantArt and The Haunt are other sites I’ve joined and posted stuff on.  Even so far as joining Facebook.com.

You know what it has gotten me?  Jack Shit.  Nothing.  Nada.

Except pure and utter frustration.  Sure my hit count went up but of those hits how many people actually read anything?

Embarrassement – the shame you feel when your inadequacy or guilt is made public

So I offer a Kiriban contest and prize for 5000 hits.  Who wins?  My wife by accident (I’m not mad at you honey).  So I offer the prize backup.  Not a bite.  Not one.  Absolutely friggin ridiculous.  I have busted my ass and got nothing but shame out of this whole thing.

The machine has ground another one into the ground folks.  This isn’t a self pity post.  I’m not that type of person.  What I am saying is that I’m 99% sure I’m done with this whole blog crap and very possibly done writing.  In so many ways it just isn’t worth it.  Do I enjoy it?  Yep.  But is the frustration and shame overriding that?  Damn skippy.

I can’t say I haven’t tried.  Hell I never even got anything ready to send to a publisher or e-zine but I’ve churned out a lot of stuff between JotA, poems, and short stories.  I realize now my big hit days last fall were because I mentioned Obama.

Screw this.  Life kicks me around enough at work and in general.

My name is Benjamin Rogers.   I live in Columbus, OH.  I hate it.

Please don’t leave comments saying it will all be OK.  We are all adults here.

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